To Breastfeed or not to Breastfeed?

That is the question!  So I know my blog is called "Me and my Boys" but this blog is for me and all my momma friends out there who have either been through it, are going through it, or are about to go through it! 

Even before I got pregnant I always thought I would try breastfeeding.  I knew it was the best for my baby, and I also knew from other friends it was the quickest way to lose that extra baby weight!  And I am all for getting that weight off ASAP!  Now when we found out that we were pregnant and the reality of breastfeeding was soon to set in I was scared, not to mention nervous.  You hear some pretty bad horror stories about how painful it is, cracking, bleeding....eek!  None of that sounds like fun!  But I was still determined to at least try.  I told myself and Dave that I really wanted to do this, and I really wanted support because I felt it was really important for Noah and I was willing to tough it out.  Secretly inside my head, I didn't think I'd be able to hang with it.  I didn't think I'd be strong enough to do it.  Well seven months later, I'm still nursing!  I have to thank my husband, mother, and some of my close girlfriends who have already been through it for all of their support and guidance.

I have to admit, the first couple weeks of nursing pretty much suck.  The lactation consultant will tell you it shouldn't hurt...it shouldn't hurt, it shouldn't hurt.  OK, whatever, I guess her definition of hurt is different then mine.  She says you may be sore but it shouldn't hurt....well if I'm sore, then it's gonna hurt!  HELLO!?  The good news though for all of you new momma's who may be starting soon the pain does go away...stick it out.  I nurse now and really don't feel it at all (unless he bites with his new found teeth, I'll get to that later).

When Noah was about 10-12 weeks old I came down with a terrible virus.  Oh it was BAD!  It hit me in the middle of the night, and I'll spare you the details but I was throwing up all night and all the next day.  And Noah was still getting up atleast once at night.  So there I am on the bathroom floor at 2AM feeling like death when I heard the famous "WAH WAH" from Noah's room.  So as any good momma would do, I drag myself off the floor, go get my lil man and nurse him, and put him back to sleep to shortly end up back on the bathroom floor feeling like death again!  By morning time I felt so bad.  I hadn't slept, and I knew I was severely dehydrated.  Try getting sick for 24 hrs on top of constantly nursing and you will get dehydrated quick! 

So my wonderful Hubby took Noah to daycare and came home, took one look at me and said "We're going to the ER, you're too dehydrated."  I spent the next five hrs hooked up to an IV getting fluids pumped in me.  The fluids really helped.  I was better a day letter.

My biggest fear while being so sick was giving it to Noah.  The last thing I ever want is for my sweet boy to be sick.  I think any parent would take an illness on themselves to spare their child.  So should I nurse when I'm so sick?  Is it going to make Noah sick?  We weren't sure.  So I called Ellen, the lactation consultant at our hospital.  I was so surprised to hear her answer.  She said nursing when you are sick is the absolute most important thing you can do for your baby!  Did you know that before you even realize that your body is infected with a cold or a virus your body has produced the antibodies your baby needs to protect themselves from getting your illness?  How crazy is that?  Tell me that isn't God working in his finest.  I always say God has designed a flawless system but we constantly choose to mess it up!

So, needless to say I am a fan of breastfeeding.  I do think it is what is best for baby and for momma without a doubt.  With that said, it definitely comes with it's downfalls.  There are days and times where I am so over it and want to quit!  Noah cut his first two teeth at four months.  The first two teeth are certainly the scariest...is he gonna bite me now that he has these nice new sharp teeth?  Well, the truth is, he might!  Noah did...oh holy crap it hurt!  And I was not expecting it at all.  When it happen I was like, there is no way in hell I'm keeping this up.  I'm also afraid to tell you new mommy's who haven't experienced this yet what it feels like...so i'll let you find out for yourself (i hope you never find out though!).  I ended up giving Noah a bottle that day too scared it would happen again.  The next day every time I nursed I sat so tensely awaiting the first nibble....but it never happen again.  Well, that was until this Monday.  He's cutting tooth number three right now, and they seem to bite more when they are cutting a new tooth.  I've learned to make sure he is seriously hungry before nursing so all he wants to do is nurse and that seems to help.

Then on top of the biting, here it is summer time and I can't really wear any of my awesome summer tops from my summer wardrobe as they are mostly strapless or halter tops requiring a strapless bra.  Hard to nurse with one of those on!  So I can only wear those when Noah's not with me...then again, if I have to pump a tricky shirt and bra will certainly make it more of a tasks then you want it to be!  Oh what a pain in the rear! 

With all this said I almost threw in the towel this week.  I still think 7 months is a great amount of time to nurse.  I'm proud of myself for doing it this long.  I haven't thrown in the towel, but I did decide I'm not going to let breast feeding stress me out or hold me back anymore.  If  I miss a pumping session...all well!  If I don't get to nurse Noah as much as I'd like it doesn't matter.  He doesn't care if he's attached to me or the bottle.  It's really me that cares.  So with this new found freedom I have realized that I can keep this up but I'm doing it on my terms now.  Taking the stress out of it has made it easier. 

So, in conclusion if you are a mom-to-be I hope you do try.  It's really a great experience for you and for your sweet little one.  If you are breastfeeding now and wondering how long you should continue I hope this helps you decide.  As my girlfriend Dana told me, you have to do what works best for you and your family.  I use to stress about what would other mom's think if I quit.  Would they think I was lazy?  Or that I didn't care about my child as much as they cared about theirs?  Well maybe, but every mom's situation is different.  Some who may be stay at home mom's might find it easier to continue nursing then mom's who have to go back to work.  Whatever you decide don't feel guilty for it.  Do what you feel is best for you and your family!